Mind Boggling World Of Researches!

World of researches is always comes up with some tit-bits which is either too implicit or absolutely ridiculous but now scientifically proven.

Some research says drinking milk is good, other says it's bad. Some research proves that we should be vegetarian while other proves point in favor of non-vegetarianism.

The best part of research is to prove anything as long as researcher can get its PhD.
Absolutely ridiculous is the world of research!

Let me tribute this one for them.
Taken long back from Sunday Observer article.

Thesis Problem Statement

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. Now, If enough toast-laden felines were used, Could they form the basis of a high-speed mono-rail system ?

Thesis

I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while ! In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with biscuits ,ice creams or anything with butter or cream on... So to save money, you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats.

Also, should here be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet. Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:

P = S * T(t)/Tc

where P is the probability of carpet impact,

S is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high S value, while the s value of water is zero.

Tc and T(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the color of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same color.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximized if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a P value of one , which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of senior politicians visiting accident victims in hospital, and opposition politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.

Conclusion

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet.

End of Thesis

Ridiculous , Isn't it ! Most of the today's researches are !

But what can we do ? Poor researchers ! Think what they have to come up with to get their PhD done ! :)